Letters
by Aurora Denain
Summary: Hermione looks through some letters she's been saving for years. Several pairings, but all are Hermione/cannon male character. Kinda hard to explain. Please RR


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any material regarding it. All rights are reserved by JK Roweling, etc.

Summery: Hermione looks through some old letters. Slightly inspired by the Alanis Morisset song Unsent. AU

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Letters

She didn't know why she'd held onto them all these years but there they were, wrapped up in ribbon and stuffed in her little box. Pieces of parchment any other person would have thrown out years before. Each a small piece of the past, a reminder of what used to be. Tracing the design on the box, she contemplated merely closing it again and forgetting. Her hand stilled at the handle, something stopping her. Heaving a sigh she sat down gently and removed the first letter from the box. A soft smile crossed her lips as she traced the now faded black ink.

_Dear Viktor,_

_I'm not sure what I want to say to you right now. It was fun? To tell you the truth I think the only thing that attracted me to you in the first place was just how unattainable you seemed to be. I knew you weren't serious and I think that's what I was looking for at the time. You were my tragic knight in armor as fanciful as it sounds. You were so alone then and I guess I was too. In that respect we were perfect for each other at the time. I'll always remember our time together, no matter how brief it was. Whenever I look back on that year your face comes back with a vengeance. I'm not going to say our paths will never cross again but lets face it, this is one of those things that's better left to the unknown._

_Thank you for all you've taught me,_

_Your Hermie_

They'd left things so abruptly she had felt compelled to send him a letter, just to clear the air. She'd never had to send it though, news about his engagement had reached her first. It was better that way. Still smiling slightly she refolded the paper and put it to the side. Picking up the next letter was more difficult, she knew just by the crimson ink who this one was addressed to.

_Ronald,_

_I know that your still with Lavender, word gets around even this far away. I'm not going to say anything about that just... maybe if it ever doesn't work out, you can come visit me here in Scotland. I like you, Ronald, more than just friends. I want use to get to know each other, more than now. Please, consider it? You don't have to reply to this, just... keep it in mind._

_Eternally yours,_

_Mione_

She still didn't have a clue what she had seen in Ron. No, that was a lie, she did know what she saw. In Ron had been everything she would have needed to cement her place in the wizarding world, and it wasn't like she'd ever considered marrying for love. She was a realist through and through, and if she had ended up with Ron she would have been with someone who was her friend first and foremost. She'd never really gotten up the courage to send it though. Placing it to the side with the other letter she moved on.

The next letter was different from the rest. She let her fingers gently trace the scripted name on the outside. She'd written it while she had still been at University, after the whole Ron fiasco. First love always had a habit of bitting the most from what she'd heard, staring at the letter she knew it to be very true.

_Dear Neville,_

_I don't really know how to say this, Nev. I've never been one to open up to people, but you probably already know that. I love you, Nev. Remember that night, the one where you let me cry on your shoulder? That was the best night of my life. You just held me, let me be myself with out fear of judgement. You helped me through a tough spot, something I wasn't sure I was ever going to get through. You were always there for me, no matter what. You helped me see that I could be more then what I saw. I'm sorry I kept pushing you away. I want to thank you for all the emotional support you've given me, and you truly have helped me see there is more to me then me. I'll never forget you and what you've done for me._

_Till forever,_

_Hermione_

Kissing the parchment gently she carefully laid it aside. He had been her rock in those days, and if she was honest she would have to admit that on some level she had truly loved him, even if she hadn't been in love with him. Sometimes she wished she had sent him that letter, maybe then things could have worked out differently.

Turning her mind away from those thoughts her hand reached out for the next letter. Stilling slightly, her eyes roamed over the jade ink that stared back at her. It was so bright even in the dim candle light. He had sparkled in those days too, even if he would never admit it she liked to believe he had been truly happy with her.

_Dear Draco_,

_This has been the best six months of my life. You have no idea how much you've changed my world. You are the most charismatic, and attentive guy when it comes to women, my self included. Someday you are going to make some witch a very happy wife. Do you remember the night we watched the sun rise over the piazza from the roof? How you compared it to a phoenix rising from its own ashes? You helped me question faith, to finally have faith. You helped me through the loathing, the self hatred. I'll never be able to thank you enough for that. The only thing is, I've never been able to let my self really relax around you, to let myself fall. That's what I need Draco, to free fall. That's why I'm leaving. I'm sure we could have great times a head of us, but I still need to find myself, my safety, my home. I'll be gone by the time you read this._

_Noi avremo Roma sempre,_

_Mia_

Placing the letter to the side she let her eyes drift over it slowly. She'd never gotten up the courage to leave. For a Gryffindor she had to be the most easily frightened person she had ever known. It hadn't mattered in the end though. She had known that there would come a point when they would both have to leave. They'd said goodbye on the roof just a few days after that, him going on with his free living, her to return to London to restart her life. She'd contemplated giving him the letter at that goodbye, but in the end she felt that everything that needed to be said had been said.

Turning her eyes back to the box she saw only two letters were left. One was like the rest, the other, well the other was so far from the others there was no comparison. Picking up the closest letter she slowly opened it, her eyes scanning the letters with remembrance.

_Dear Harry,_

_We've been through so much haven't we? It's some times so difficult to believe it's been almost six years since we left Hogwarts. We haven't talked in such a long time, I felt like I just had to write to see how you were. I know that we didn't part on the best of terms, and the long distance didn't do anything for renewing our friendship. I know that when we were together it was about comfort, nothing more. Just two old friends trying to find some sense of meaning in the world. I still worry about you, Harry and I'll always be there for you if you want me to be. You were my first true friend and no matter what I will always hold on to that. I'll always wonder where you are and what you're doing, that's why I make a better little sister then anything else. Please send me a message back, if only to say hello. I miss you so much, Harry. No matter how we left things._

_Your friend, _

_Hermione _

Tears welled in her eyes as she stared at the letter. Losing Harry's friendship had been one of the hardest moments in her life. She knew that the separation was necessary though. He had been so heart broken about Ginny leaving him that he had turned to her for comfort of any kind. It hadn't lasted long and in the end they both realized it had been a mistake. He'd taken off after that, to 'clear his head', while she stayed in London. No one knew where he took off to and her letter had never gotten the chance to be sent. He had showed up two weeks later, and with Luna in toe. She didn't hate him for what he did, but it didn't dull the ache that she had felt by seeing them together, not to mention of the fall out when Ginny found out. Those had been a hectic few months but in the end everything had worked out for the best.

Laying the letter aside she stared at the last letter in her box. Worn and torn on one corner it was the most haggard in appearance of all her letters. Opening it slowly she traced the single sentence that was written on the page.

_Dear Fred,_

_No matter what my past is, I love you and always will._

_Yours till forever,_

_Hermione_

She had never given the prankster the letter. She had stuffed it in the back of the box the moment she had written it. Her past was checkered to say the least, and she knew that he would want nothing to do with her because of it. No matter his mischievous ways, Fred Weasley was a person of honor no matter what. A single tear ran down her check as she stared at the paper, her hand shaking.

The door to her office creaked slightly as it opened slowly. Soft, yet clearly masculine foot steps sounded behind her, going almost completely unnoticed by Hermione as she grieved in silence. "Hermione?" a soft voice questioned as they drew closer.

Jerking out of her thoughts, Hermione tried to hurriedly wipe away her tears before he could see them."Fred. What are you still doing here. The shops been closed for hours now." she managed to squeak out while trying to hide the letters. He knew enough about her past without finding the evidence of it.She'd been with almost every member of their small social group in one form or another and he didn't need to know the exact nature of each. She honestly hoped she could convince him to leave quickly.

He was moving closer anyway"Hermione, what's wrong? Have you been crying?" his voice sounded concerned as he spoke but Hermione didn't want to get her hopes up just to have them dashed again.

"It's nothing Fred." she dismissed easily enough, trying to keep her voice in check. He didn't seem convinced because he was moving closer again. He stopped only a few steps away, so close she could smell his aftershave.

"I thinks it's something when I find my wife setting in her office crying." he asserted closing the gap between them. Wrapping his arms around her he held her close. That small movement did away with the last of her resolve. Tears fell freely now, coating her cheeks as she trembled in his arms, clinging to him tightly. She'd been crying for several minutes when he lifted his head from its perch atop hers. Reaching out he picked up one of the letters that was sticking out of the box. Before she could protest she had opened it and begun reading.

She wanted nothing more then to sink into the floor. Any affection he had for her would be dashed when he found out just how many men, and which ones, she had been with. He didn't love her to begin with, their marriage being an agreement, not a love match. No matter her affection for her husband she was still a realist, and one who realized the difference between love and obligation.

She waited quietly for him to finish reading, only hoping that the letter he had chosen wasn't too incriminating. Which ever he had chosen was placed back on the desk rather quickly. Her tears were still falling as she pulled herself from his arms. "I.. I need to clean this mess up. I'm sorry I wasn't home earlier I had some filing to do. You can go ahead of me, I'll be right there._"_ Her voice trembled as she tried to hurriedly collect the papers.

His hand stilled her's, pulling her into his arms. "Hermione, Hermione." he whispered into her hair.She stilled, afraid of what he was going to say next. "It's the past, Hermione, you have to let it go." His words shocked her but she made no outward notion of it, afraid of what that would do. "These things made you who you are, Mione. You shouldn't be ashamed of them, I'm not. They made you into the woman before me now. My wife, the woman I love. We've both done things in our past that aren't exactly worthy of praise, but it doesn't matter. What matters is what is here, what is now."

Her tears came harder as she hugged him tightly to her. "Fred. Fred." she cried into his shoulder as she clung to him. "I love you. So much." He didn't respond, instead he kissed her on the top of her head and held her even closer to him.

They stood like that for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke again. "Lets go home." he spoke softly. Not fully letting go of her he extinguished to candles and headed for the door. Leaning her head against his shoulder she let his warmth seep into her. He hadn't cared about her past, about what she'd done, how she'd lied about it for fear of him hating her. It was almost as though the slate had been wiped clean, giving them a fresh start.

Standing under the street light just out side the shop he reached out his hand to hail a taxi. Arm still out stretched, and not looking at her he let the words she had been longing to hear escape his lips. "I love you." Looking down at her with sparkling blue eyes, radiating with love she felt the happiest she'd been in years. Standing there on that street corner she could think of no where else she would rather be. As the taxi pulled up, she allowed the world to blur around her, leaving only her and him. Reaching up she kissed him lightly on the lips. Pulling back only a few millimeters she whispered, "I love you too." before allowing him to help her into the cab.Their lives where starting anew, with future years filled with the hope of love and happiness.

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AN: Love, hate, just don't get? Review! 


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